Humbled

Humble  / hum·ble / 'hembəl / 
adjective 
having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance.

I remember praying to God, asking Him for a simpler lifestyle. At the time I was 23, living in the hustle and bustle of NYC while working in the fashion industry as a handbag designer. I was living the dream I had dreamed since I was a little girl...but yet satisfaction was a feeling foreign to me. Though I made good money, had a cute and inexpensive (for NYC) little studio apartment in Queens, and enjoyed my independence...I wanted more.

More of what? ...I wasn't really sure at the time. I figured it was more money. More money to spend on more stuff and go more places. So I asked for a raise and got one, a pretty significant one at that! And yet that feeling of not having enough never left.




I eventually came to know the Lord in November of 2015, by God's grace, and it was only then that I understood why that empty feeling I had would not go away. I was trying to fill my life with money, fancy things, and cool experiences hoping to create my own happiness, when in truth the only thing that would truly fulfill me and bring me joy was to know and serve the Lord. 

It was then that I prayed. 

I prayed for a simple life. I prayed to be taken out of the hectic city that I loved (and sometimes despised) and be put in an area where there was more trees than buildings. Where the pace was slower, people were nicer, and the air fresher. I prayed to be removed from where I was working with it's constant deadlines, late nights, and difficult team members. I wanted to be released from everything that I had thought I needed to be successful...to be happy and complete in life.

And the Lord's answer to that prayer was, yes.



In June of 2016, in the midst of my online dating phase, I met this guy. He lived out in small town USA, and came from a family who lived in an area where they joke that there are more cows than people. We hit it off, we fell in love, we got engaged 5 months later. 
Fast forward over 2 years and we're married, living in a small town in Pennsylvania. I gave up my unicorn of an apartment, dream job, and the city that I have known since birth and I'm living a simpler life.



Now, what does this have to do with being humbled? 
Well...living a simplified life seemed more appealing in my mind than how it did when I initially moved away. My identify was heavily tied to my position as a handbag designer of a well-known junior fashion brand. I missed the oohs and aahs I use to get when people asked me what I did for a living. 

I missed what having a nice salary could get me. I budgeted, yes, but I always made room for whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it (how that works as a budget, I have no idea)! I didn't like not being able to splurge and spend money as often as I liked...I didn't like being told "not yet."

We’re currently renting my sister-in-law’s old house...and I mean OLD house. It’s larger than any place I lived in the city and we’re able to save quite a bit since they’re not trying to make a profit off of us...and yet I’m always looking at the things I can’t stand about living here...like the fact that we only have a claw-foot tub and no shower. Never mind the fact that I always wanted a claw foot tub...this isn’t exactly how I pictured it. 
I need to be humbled. 




Basically I snubbed my nose up at the very thing I prayed for because I believed myself to be better and above it all. I was an elite New Yorker, steeped in art and culture, living among plebeians. It sounds crazy to me as I write it but if I’m completely honest it was the underlying truth of how I felt. But through God’s word, especially on topics of ingratitude and discontentment, along with some inspiring YouTube channels, I saw the need to embrace my surroundings and instead of complaining about them I should make them work for me! 

Humility is the key to making this happen. With humility before God and His word we see ourselves for who we truly are - and when that happens we see that we’re not perfect and deserving of all the best things. We see that our life’s purpose isn’t to pursue wealth and collect all the newest and latest items. We see that everything we have is not of our own volition but comes from the Lord, and if we snub our noses up at it we’re saying that God doesn’t know what he’s doing and didn’t get it right. I realize that now and it has helped me appreciate my current season in life. I’m not perfect, I have to pray for humility and repent of pride and ungratefulness constantly, but thankfully I have a Father in Heaven who forgives and gives me the grace I need to push through.




I felt the urge to document my journey of learning how to live and love the simple life. God has blessed with creative talents and I want to use them to create a loving and beautiful home through frugal and imaginative means. I hope this blog will inspire others and help them see God’s truth in the realm of daily living. 



Thank you for joining me on the ride! 

With Love,
Janine 

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